"why so late then come back home"
is like I ONLY WENT OUT TO BUY MY THINGS AND EAT FOR 30MINUTES AND MISS THAT BLOODY 112 BUS AND REACHED HOME AT 3.45pm.
HELLO, COULD YOU STOP CONTROLLING MY LIFE. TODAY IS JUST THE BLOODY FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL AND YOU SCOLDED ME LIKE THIS?! THIS IS MY LIFE. WHAT I WANT TO DEAL WITH IT IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM OKIES. @#*&$ up okays! I DIDN'T GO OUT AND EAT WITH MY FRIENDS FOR DINNER TRYING TO MAKE THINGS AS GOOD AS POSSIBLE AND YET SUCH THINGS HAPPEN. WHAT THE HELL IS EVERYONE DOING. WHAT DID I DO WRONG IN THE FIRST PLACE. TRYING VERY HARD NOT TO DISAPPOINT YOU WHEN THERE IS TUITION. TRYING TO SCORE AS HIGH AS PEOPLE IN MY CLASS. TRYING VERY HARD TO AIM THE FIRST. ENDED UP? SCOLDING ME. WHY SO "LAN" WHY THIS AND THAT. I ALREADY PUT IN 10000% OF MY EFFORT AND YOU DIDN'T SAY WELL DONE/TRY HARDER. IS I'M THE ONE TELLING MYSELF. WORK HARDER. HAVE YOU EVER TELL ME TO WORK HARDER? HAVE YOU EVER CONSOLE ME BEFORE WHEN I NEED HELP. I JUST WANTED A PSP AND USING MY OWN MONEY AND YET YOU SCOLDED ME AGAIN. GOOD ENOUGH I STILL ASK YOUR PERMISSION TO BUY. AND YET SAME THINGS HAPPEN. SCOLD! BUY A NEW BAG FOR MYSELF USING MY OWN SAVING/EARNED MONEY AND YET SCOLDING. WHAT THE HELL DID I DO WRONGLY. WHY MUST YOU TREAT ME LIKE THIS. WHY WHY WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I DON'T UNDERSTAND. TRYING TO WAKE UP AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE DURING HOLIDAYS. JUST BECAUSE SUNDAY I WOKE UP AT 11.30AM AND YOU SCOLDED ME AGAIN. BIASED? NOT TREATING ME AS YOUR DAUGHTER? WHY THE OTHER 2 CAN DON'T NEED TO HEAR YOUR NAGGING ? WHY MUST I ALWAYS HEAR YOUR NAGGING. YES I KNOW I LOSE YOUR FACE BEFORE AS I DIDN'T STUDY WELL FOR PSLE. I CAN FEEL THE FEELING OF BEING A FAILURE. I DID THAT ONCE AND NEVER EVER GOING TO DO THAT ANYMORE. BUT YOUR WORDS ARE ALWAYS HURTING ME. HURTING ME ALOT. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. SERIOUSLY ONE FINE DAY IF I CAN'T TAKE IT, I GO TO AHMA HOUSE AND I TELL YOU THE WHOLE WORLD WILL KNOW HOW YOU TREAT ME. DON'T THINK I'M A TOOT STAYING AT HOME TO LET YOU NAG. AFTER N'S I MAKE SURE I GO OUT UNTIL 1AM AND IF YOU ARE ANGRY. SCOLD ME AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. I HAVE THE TIME TO PLAY WITH YOU ALSO.
HAIS!
my life just turned in a second and now is becoming like this. luckily i forbid myself from eating lunch today just to stop the pain. well i think i do a correct thing. maybe until when i admit to a hospital due to starvation then she realise that how important this child means to her.i have nothing to stop the pain is just like thousands of needle poking through my heart. i love food and now i shall stop loving food and starve myself. i'm now finding my last time mother. the way she treat me buy new clothing for me. since sis and i started the blog shop, she did even buy a single clothing for me. how nice. she saved up the money to play her shares. maybe she is testing me how i can tolerate her.
i don't know what to do now.
posted by vivianpengyiting @ 3:55 PM
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